If you happen to be in a Maredo Restuarant, always order the steak

Do.
It's a nice south american-ish restaurant chain - I found one around the Marienplatz area in my first day in the city, and went back today.

This time I ordered steak fajitas, because I decided that I hadn't had much red meat since I got here and it's a scientific fact that one needs it to live healthily. Or perhaps one needs something that is in it, which can be gotten from eating other things that I don't eat. Or perhaps that is a sort of scientific fact in the vein of, "If the chicken has no heart, then it means very grave misfortune will come". Having done only Single Award Science at school, I never know where the distinction between science and folklore is.

Anyways, it came and it was quite wonderful. But after it was set before me, I could see that the waiter was still carrying something.

"Das ist für Sie, tee hee!!", he said, putting a big bib over my head. He muttered something about the steak, as if that would explain it all.

The man wasn't the waiter who had been serving me. He may have been the chef, because I only saw him that one time. Also, the "tee hee" was very distinct - he made no serious effort to hide it. It was as if this was his very favourite part of the job.
Given all this, and that no one else in the restaurant was wearing a bib, I was a bit uncertain as to what was happening. I looked to the man sitting on his own at the table next to me. An ever-broadening smile was appearing on his face. He made some little remark which I didn't quite catch - but he must have felt it brought us together since he said a friendly "Auf Wiederschauen!" to me very personally when he left.

During the course of the meal I thought of taking it off - given that there was nothing at all particularly messy about what I was eating - but then decided that there was really no point.

At one point in the meal, I noticed that the maturity of the bib was increased by some writing. From memory, it read something like:-

Lätzchen sind nett,
Und schützen vor fett.
Allerdings nur die Kleider!
Leider!

which I understood to mean:-

Bibs are nice
And protect against fat
But only the clothes - sadly!

Which was rather nice, in a poetic sort of way. I realize I didn't capture the beauty in my translation though. I'll work on that.

Woolworths

It's just great.

I strongly disagree with the woman who was standing in it, complaining "Hier gibt's nichts". Because there were wonderful things there.

I finally got some coathangers, though not great ones. I'm still hoping that one day I'll find them cheaply in Lidl's. There appears always to be a large section in the centre of Lidl's which forms their "Monument to Three Dimensional Things" - for there is no other clear relationship between the objects other than that they can all be touched and held, and possibly dropped or broken. As the Three Dimensional Things included in the monument can vary quite widely, I don't see what coathangers shouldn't make it there one day.

I also got a saucepan. And almost a frying pan, though you still can't quite cook with "almost a frying pan". But still: I'm getting closer.

Apart from that, I was outside Woolworths and reading a menu when a waitress said "Enschuldigung!" to try to get me to move of her way. Which wasn't really noteworthy, except that I moved with such elegance and grace, ending in something of a twirl, that she started laughing and didn't even complete the word. And so I thought that perhaps I should work on communicating more with my whole body. Although it hadn't been my primary intention at that time either, I don't think I have made anyone else laugh once since getting here. Perhaps that could be "my thing".

Another person asked me for directions today. This one spoke English, and may even have been from an English speaking country. I was slightly more helpful, but only slightly. Then someone else chipped in with the full set of directions so that she could actually get to where she wanted to go.
Still, if I'm going to be asked so often then I must look harmless and helpful. And in control.
Which is good. After wrecklessly handsome, it'd be my second choice way to be perceived.

If only I could keep up the facade when speaking. I think that while I'm here, I might try to become the sort of person who says few words and who always looks serious and as if their mind is on weighty matters. Then my highly limited conversational abilities becomes less apparently related to being foreign and slow witted, and instead might be attributed (by those who encounter me) to my unique grasp of the gravity of the human condition and my reluctance to enter into superficial conversations about trifling matters. I think Germans might dig that sort of thing.
I may buy myself a beret.

I have a new German mobile phone number, and I might tell you it one day if you ask. Although I'm not yet sure how useful it will be and if there is much point. The man in the shop spoke English to me, because he saw the baffled look on my face when he asked for my "Ausweis". I even would have known what an "Ausweis" was (an identity card, or my passport) - but I didn't get it initially because I didn't expect to be asked for it when buying a phone card. However, I did understand clearly and almost instantaneously when the group of boys I was with (in body, but not spirit) in McDonalds complimented a girl on her "schönen Po". So it seems I do indeed have some useful vocabulary in the front of my brain.
I think the choice of this vocabulary comes from watching a few German-language movies instead of going to German classes in the past year or two.

(To clarify, I "understood" what the words meant. I didn't necessarily understand or agree or disagree with the sentiment, because I didn't feel at liberty to look, and besides, there were two girls anyway and I wouldn't have been sure which Po was being discussed)

That said, it's now 12 hours later than when I wrote that and I'm now in an office and to be working on the programming project. Which I shall do.

Bye for now.

Singing greetings

There's something lovely about the way German-speakers sing the word "Hallo".

For all the other horrendous noises that the language has produced, this is a wonderfully beautiful one.

I first noted this consciously whenever a female cyclist tried to angrily sing me out of her way as I was nonchalantly ambling along in the cycle lane. Her little bell sounded, and then came a "Ha-llow" - rising and falling in perfect key - and then some comment with "Radl" in it. I like words that include "Radl" also, as they too create pleasant sounds, but I can't remember any of them at the moment.

Casualty

Well, I broke my first glass on my first weekend. I think that's ok - it's possibly how Greek students christen their new homes anyways. And I had bought the glass, it didn't seem to damage anything, and there was nothing in it at the time. I'm just waiting to check with Justus (who shares the apartment with me) whether or not there is some special recycling ritual that I should go through or whether I can just go and slip it in the general rubbish bin in the dead of night. Like with most other things.

I was making myself coffee at the time (using Justus' coffee and coffee maker - I think he's alright with that, and if he isn't then I can always refuse to understand him telling me he's not), so had to resort to drinking it out of a bowl. The bowl was actually no more difficult than the glass. A cup would have been ideal - having, as cups do, handles - but I haven't gotten around to buying one of them yet.

I learned that bowls work for drinking while watching the little Cadbury's advertisements during Coronation Street.


Also, "apartment" has 1 p.
You live and learn.

Helping the natives

I was asked for directions today, by a young man in a car and who had an electronic gadget on his ear with blue lights which made him look part cyborg. I was quite pleased that my instinctive reaction was to reply with "Weiß nicht, sorry". The "sorry" was a bit English, but the rest wasn't and I think it still works. At least, I heard "sorry" said in a German movie once. The other way I know how to say sorry, "Es tut mir Leid", could be literally translated (by me) as "It causes me sorrow" - which, under the circumstances, I think would have been overstating my feelings somewhat. I was none too bothered.

I also wasn't actually entirely sure what he had said, but since I know so little in this country, "I don't know" was almost certainly the correct answer. I merely figured out from his gestures and a few word fragments that he probably wanted to get somewhere ending in "Heim", and he wanted to get there quickly so that the girl in the passenger seat wouldn't think of him as a complete moonbeam and leave him the instant when they finally would arrive.

The walk to the university

The university swan, ignoring me.

Big enough to eat you (slowly).

Showing off.

There's something moving in the bushes

There really is something moving in the bushes. There is always something moving in the bushes. And I can very rarely find it.
On a few occasions, I saw birds. Once I saw a rabbit skip off into the long grass. But most of the time, something just moves and I'm not sure what it is.

This could also have been called, "There's someone walking around who looks grumpy". Because there almost always is someone walking around looking grumpy. Back home, when walking around in the sort-of countryside, a reasonable number of people will greet complete strangers and walk on. It's awkward, but nice. But here, I haven't experienced that once. Normally people either continue walking without looking in your direction at all at the vital moment (having looked at you beforehand, as surreptitiously as possible), or else look at you disapprovingly and keep on going in silence, leaving you with the question, "Am I really so hideous?". I wondered today if my shorts were to blame, but it seems to happen even on days when I'm fully clad. Germans themselves, it could be noted, are not always fully clad. Although they have tended to be around the university.

I'm deliberating as to whether I should introduce more friendliness to them myself by bestowing warm greetings upon arbitrarily selected people that I should happen to encounter. I don't think I'm the ideal man for the job, but I could give it a shot. Someone should do it.

Sometime last week

Well, I managed to sign my accommodation contract and get my health insurance sorted today. The first one involved a lot of slow and clear German from a very nice lady who was just a tiny bit older than the age where she could be expected to give English a try. Hiding his cigarettes under the desk when I came in, my health insurer spoke first German and then English whenever he warmed up. Then, when he had reached optimum temperature, he started chatting away in English, explaining (amongst other things) when the next holidays will be and laughing cruelly at people in Hamburg and Berlin because they have to work two weeks on Thursday because they are Protestant. Apparently Monday is also a holiday.


I went into Munich again. I wasn't feeling too adventurous, and thought pizza would be a good idea. 2 pizza places failed my tests: one because the chairs were two high and I would be pointed out the window so anyone could see the unglamorous way in which I eat pizza, the other because I couldn't find the door. After walking many, many miles - an unreasonable number - I happened to find a Pizza Hut. Then, I happened to find some little pizza shop beside it, hidden away. I went for the little shop, based on the idea that it must be very special to be able to survive.

It was rather good. I was concerned that there was only one table of raucous German men in it when I arrived, but relieved to deduce that the food must be alright because the chef had clearly eaten rather a lot of it.


I also went shopping again. Today, I came home with a rather impressive and sharp knife (for most of my cutting needs, I hope), and a normal knife, fork and spoon. Still, I think I've figured out why I'm bad at shopping for the things I need. The things I need are in shops that I find boring. When I'm in the city, I don't go to shops that I find boring. I actually have only been to one useful shop (on two occasions), for the very reason that it looked boring (but also big) and so I thought it must have what I need. I don't know what to do in these places.

Most of the cutlery they were selling was hugely expensive and in big sets. I'm not sure if this is because it's an expensive shop, because I don't really know what to expect from these things. Although I did find a little rack of things just for me.

Like the indecisive donkey who died of starvation because he could see two equally succulent bales of hay an equal distance from him, I stood repeatedly looking at one 2 Euro fork, then at the other, then back again. "Everything working out for you alright there?" was my rough translation of what the shop assistant said. We agreed that it was, in a bumbling sort of way, although both secretly knew it wasn't.

Later, having chosen, I felt the need to explain to her what I was doing as she looked at me sympathetically - her face saying that she knew she was not dealing with a boy accustomed to buying cutlery. On the second go (having got the tense wrong first time) I managed to get out in German, "I'm just staying for 4 months in Munich".
"Ah, those'll do you then", she responded.
The conversation wasn't long (I may have said something else brief, but that was about the height of it). Still it was enough to make things more interesting. Not much more interesting. But a bit. For me, anyway.

People do seem oddly friendly like that. Most of the time no one sees or notices me. But occasionally someone smiles for some reason - like the elderly people yesterday - and we share a sentence or two. Their sentences make more sense than mine, but I still try to give something. Sometimes. At least a "thank you". I think it's progress. Just not fast progress. I must try to find foreign people in Northern Ireland and smile at them in the future. It might make their day. Might not. But might.


Tomorrow will hopefully involve enrolling, opening a bank account, possible registering my address, and buying sheets and a pillow. Pillows range in price from 4 Euro (for a particularly small and bad one) to 50 Euro (for a particularly grand one). The cheapest full-size one that I could find, and which doesn't threaten to make you feel you are sleeping on a bag filled with particularly bumpy birds, was 20 Euro. Shockingly (for me), pillow cases cost the same. So I think this will take more research than I had expected.

Apartment

Outside

Inside

The Building Opposite That Tries To Be Hidden

First (full) day

I had a bit of a flurry of writing there. It's not particularly interesting, but please just indulge me - or else merely lead me to believe you have. I also got confused as to what I had written in an email and what I had written here, so some stories may be missing vital elements.

I thought yesterday that the lady who had cycled round to give me the key to my room didn't like me, yet at 9.15 this morning she was rather cheerful with me. She even asked if I slept well, although she was still insisting on speaking only German. She demonstrated the ventilation system, and how to shut it off if the outside noise was annoying.

It emerged later that the reason for her cheerfulness was almost certainly because she had already exacted her revenge with the sign she put by my door. As far as anyone here is concerned, I'm a Bankhart.

Nevertheless, little does she know that I still haven't signed the contract for the room. Although that is something I really should do.



I ended up rather on my own to try to sort out my life - which made me feel a bit put out at first, before I then decided was quite reasonable, because I hadn't asked for more help and because I'm an adult (of sorts). Nevertheless, I didn't manage to get any of the necessary paperwork done today - so I'm not enrolled, have no address and no bank account. I don't much like that. There were things that I probably could have done, but they relied on having things that I couldn't yet have until I had done the things which I couldn't do. This meant that even the things which I could do couldn't be done, except for one thing - although that itself couldn't be done because I don't know what a TUM Automat is, or where or how or why I should put 28 Euro into it in order to get a receipt which I needed. And it didn't seem to matter, since I only needed the receipt to do something else which I couldn't do because I hadn't done yet another thing.

I am not certain, but I think that the way in is via the medical insurance - so I found the office, and it's open for a few hours tomorrow (but no other time during the week). In addition to this, I figured out how the Munich rail/bus system works and so I should be able to do more tomorrow, hopefully. It is quite a wonderful thing. Although it feels like it has swallowed up a lot of my money. It hasn't - other things have. But I shall blame the transport system, because it's one of the few things that I can actually remember paying for. I may be able to get a monthly student travel card - but not until I get through several other layers of things to do first.



I found a spanish/mexican restaurant near the Marienplatz, and had fajitas. They looked extremely professional and nice. I'm hoping to survive them.

The waiter was nice. He seemed foreign to me - but since I was more foreign, he was the one in control. I got his "smoking / non-smoking" question at the second attempt, and so he positioned me at a seat hidden at the back.

I accidentally gave him a tip. Well, perhaps in my soul I wanted to. I had thought about it, and I wasn't sure. What I did intentionally give him was a little head nod - which I have been using a lot here. It's a nod which says "Yes" to whatever he thinks that I'm thinking. I find it helpful in that, not only does it mean that I don't have to try to figure out how to express in German what I'm thinking, I don't even have to think it. When I don't know what I'm should be thinking, the nod means that he has to think what I might be thinking, and then understand that I agree with this. He is at least likely to think that I am thinking something relevant to the situation. In actual fact, I am likely to be thinking, "Time for the little nod".

Unfortunately, in this instance what he thought I was thinking was that I wanted him to keep the change. Fortunately, that wasn't much. But it has taught me that I really should be more careful with the nod - it is a powerful weapon, but potentially a very expensive one.



I went twice into a shop whose name I have forgotten, but who boasts to be "A World of Books". Indeed, it was a glorious place. There is a point whenever one is descending from the top floor, however, where the elevators stop going down. You may search and search and check all the many elevator options - but you will find that they are only going up. For me, it took some time to find the stairs, and longer still for the realisation to hit that they did not demand any particular direction from me. I suppose the shop has no wish to speed anyone's exit. They're all very cunning.



I held open the door for 2 elderly people, and received a warm smile from both and a "Danke schön. Das ist nett. Vielen Dank" from the woman - which was much more enthusiasm than I had expected. I blurted out a "Bitte schön" - which may or may not have been appropriate. It was a charming experience anyways, and made me smile for quite a time. It would have been sullied had I headed into the ladies toilets behind her, but at the last moment I noticed the skirt on the stick figure. Then, having veered towards the left just in time and entered the male toilets - which smelled rather badly - I somehow turned the tap on and couldn't turn it off. So I smiled apologetic to the slightly disgruntled looking man behind me, and fled. I later decided he may actually may have been more disgruntled because I was grinning at him while he was still fixing his trousers. Which I hadn't quite noted at the time.

They have such a desire to get on with life that sometimes German men are still fixing their trousers after leaving the bathroom altogether. Some don't even wash their hands. Nothing can hold them back.

------------

There were numerous photos (of the trip as a whole, not the man), but I'm not good enough to have figured out how to post them yet. A number of the photos were taken looking backwards as I made my way to the U-Bahn station - mostly so that I could use them to find my way home. I was rather proud of that, as a sort of more astute and technically advanced method developed from Hansel and Gretel. I'm hoping for a happier conclusion.

Flight

At sometime after midnight, lying awake in bed, I had the misfortune of discovering that I don't really believe in aeroplanes.

They really are quite preposterous. I don't typically mind flying, but I don't see how it could be done. Even were it possible to get one such beast in the air, one couldn't then control it with any degree of precision. It would twist and twirl and spin like its paper counterpart, only more terrifyingly. The wind would catch it, and it would swirl off into the sea.

It so happens that I watched a bit of a documentary on airships and Zeppelins recently. Now there's a type of air travel that I can believe in. At least it makes sense, and it's understandable how one might get up there. Though I wouldn't wish to go in one.

Nevertheless, the 'flights' (as I shall still call them, although I don't think they were really) were alright. The first plane seemed well under half full. It had propellers, which at least helped create the impression that it was trying. Given that there were so many free seats, the lady next to me tried to escape and more forward one. But, alas, she had to move back. Apparently, she would have upset the balance. She didn't want that on her conscience, but she also didn't like the implication that she was all that heavy. So it really was a no-win situation.

Not a real post

Hi - here at the moment, eavesdropping on conversations I don't understand at the university. No internet in my room yet, so if I should contact anyone, I may well not do so.... sorry about that. But perhaps one day it will change.
Gotta go hunt down something to eat,
Pete

Just for now

Haven't actually gone to Germany, but will do soon.... Just going to fiddle with the design for now..........